We’re all human beings, meaning that our state of mind and how we feel constantly changes. We go through the whole range of human emotions throughout a day, so it’s normal to allow ourselves to feel good, bad, sad, angry at any given time during the day. It’s natural to ebb and flow.
We don’t need to control our state of mind to only feel the good feelings and ignore the rest. You can simply allow all those feelings to move through, feeling okay with whatever you’re experiencing. It’s okay to feel depressed, upset, disappointed, confused. Let’s get that out of the way!
Somehow we have picked up that feeling angry or feeling depressed means something about us, that it’s bad to feel those states and hence we judge and resist them and complain when others are in those states. It’s as if those feelings are wrong to have. No, no, no…it’s normal. At its very core all those feelings that we’re experiencing are simply energies moving through, there’s nothing wrong with you whatsoever. Children allow their feelings to free flow, they can be fine one moment, have a temper tantrum the next, it’s perfectly normal, they haven’t yet learnt that some states are better than others and that they’re not allowed to express certain states freely.
In a relationship you can go from hating your partner and wanting to hit him/her with the pan to loving your partner and hugging him within 1 minute. I know scary, but that’s our ability to freely experience in any moment without judging, resisting or selecting our experiences. The good news is, we can just allow those feelings to be there, we don’t need to act them out and hit our partner with the pan but we can allow ourselves to have that thought and even joke about it 🙂
You are not your thoughts
You can allow yourself to feel all feelings without being scared of them or make those feelings mean anything about you or a relationship. Just because you feel feelings of depression, anger, anxiety, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you and it doesn’t mean that that’s who you are…you are not a depressed person just because you feel depressed, you’re way more than that. There’s no need to identify with those feeling. You simply “are”, everything else in an experience you’re having but is not “you”.
Being human comes with having expectations on how life needs to show up for us to be okay and it also comes with expectations on how other people have to show up for us to be okay. Now whilst that’s a misunderstanding ie we’re already okay and we don’t need certain things or other people to show up for us to feel good, it doesn’t mean that your human self is not going to feel disappointed when things/people don’t show up the way the human wants or not on the timeline the human wants. Expect to feel disappointed and go into the AND…feeling disappointed and knowing you’re okay and that you made those expectations up in the first place, taking ownership for your creation.