Before going through my own self realisation journey, I was the most unsensual person on the planet. I was so stuck in the mind, in duality, right and wrong that I had a hard time actually fully being here, being fully myself, feeling & perceiving myself. I forgot to eat, drink and even take time out for myself. My head was covered in work, my laptop was my best friend.
It was all about getting ahead, competing, battling…it was about “next, next, next.” It was about “how can I please the outside and achieve more, more, more” so other people are going to like me. When I think back of that time, I am filled with intense energies in my stomach. It hurts! It was self abuse at its best.
Grinding & hustling, ouch! Woah, how was I able to exist like that?